Yes, I do know that an anectdote is worse evidence than data from a competently-designed survey. (And yes, this anecdote was written by someone hiding behind a pseudonym.) But it is probably not cost effective to find data from surveys on this topic.

So that the first sentence makes sense, let me explain that the quote is a comment on a post asserting that promiscuity and career do not in the end satisfy most women as much as marriage and children.

When I said something similar to my fellow coeds 20 years ago, I was told just how wrong I was.

Most young women were rather unhappy with the whole casual sex merry-go-round but stayed on I think under pressure from their zealous sisters. I don’t remember any young women who was promiscuous enjoying the fact that the boys rarely called. In fact they often cried. Then they went back out to the parties the next weekend for another connectionless hookup . . . sigh very sad, really.

“Men were rewarded for being unsuitable in some way. So the attitude of men changed as well. Some adapted to the culture of casual relationships by becoming players. Some withdrew from the whole dating game and adapted to a lifetime of bachelorhood. Some looked elsewhere for women. The result was that when some of these middle class women did finally start to look for husbands they met men who were no longer as keen to commit.”

I think you are missing one component here. Women desire the bad boys because it would make them feel special to tame them. I do not think players are a reaction to lack of marriage partners for the men. Rather, being a player appeals to the female desire for adventure and to feel more desirable than other women. If she can tame the bad boy, then she is prettier, more fun, higher status than everyone who came before her.

Most men are not players, they don’t have the status, skills or looks to pull it off even if they want it. These men get very little in regards to casual sex, affection or relationships. The players on the other hand enjoy many, many women each.

The new promiscuity of most women does not guarantee the same for ordinary men.

I forgot to add…

Many players are the type who would have been unlikely to marry in the first place. They were called “confirmed bachelors” in the past.

They are just doing what comes naturally to them in an environment that benefits them more than any other human (women, children or non-player men.)

Source.

The following passage taught me something — and confirmed something else — about women. The author is an American woman with a high-powered career.

[That reminds me of] when I dated guys a lot farther along in their career than I was. It was exciting. They knew a lot more about sex than I did, but you equalize on that pretty fast. And then, what’s left in the inequality department is career stuff. And I could always figure out how to get stuff from them.

It was exciting to be the young girl who the older guys want to help, and date. At the same time. I was never sure how much I wanted either offering, but I knew that together, they were intoxicating.

Source.